ENGLAND: 1564

Daniel was exhausted. The stable doors had taken almost all day to repair and he was ready for a break. They still had no idea what had spooked the horses like that. The weather was fair and they did not uncover any other creatures within the barn. It was definitely a strange day. He made his way through the halls of the grand castle, aiming for his favorite room. He had come upon it many years ago, just after he first arrived. It was the grandest library he had ever seen. He loved books, loved learning. It was something he had inherited from his parents. While he loved the room, he was always nervous about entering it. He had never received permission from his master to make use of the room, but the pull was just too strong to resist. He only hoped his exhaustion didn’t cause him to fall asleep while in there.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Daniel walked through the castle, his arms laden with the recently chopped firewood. It had been a very tiring two days and he was looking forward to the evening meal.

“Daniel!” he heard someone call. He turned to see Edmond, one of the other servants rushing towards him. “Master Jonathan wishes to see you right away.”

“The master? Did he say why? What could I have done?” Daniel asked as he passed the wood to Edmond.

“I don’t know. He’s in his study at the top of the stairs. That is all I know. Good luck,” he added as he took the wood from Daniel.

Daniel began to worry. In his 20 years at the castle he had never been summoned to see the master before. He hardly ever saw him, if truth be told. He’d had a glimpse here and there and had been very impressed by what he saw – a tall man, broad shouldered with silver hair. He was certainly the kind of man that demanded respect.

He approached the door with trepidation, unsure of what to expect. He knocked as confidently as he could on the heavy wooden door.

“Come!” he heard his master call.

He entered the room, closing the door firmly behind him. He walked towards the desk, his head bowed in respect and stood, awaiting his master’s request.

“How long have you worked for me, Daniel?” Jonathan asked.

“Twenty years, sire,” he replied softly.

“Do you enjoy your work here?”

“Yes, sire.”

“Do you get the opportunity to venture out much?”

“No, sire. My work keeps me occupied.”

“Really? And what is it you do for me?”

Daniel was becoming rather perplexed by this line of questioning. What was it his master wanted of him?

“I tend to the stables, sire. I also chop firewood when the need arises and do some repairs around the grounds.”

“If this work keeps you so occupied, would you please explain to me why you were found in my library last evening?”

Daniel’s head jerked up at that, meeting the piercing gaze from behind the desk. He suddenly knew that his job, his very life could be in jeopardy if he did not answer very carefully.

“I’m…I’m very sorry about that, sire,” he stammered. “It won’t happen again.”

“Now, that’s not what I asked. What were doing in there?”

“The, uh, the horses had gotten spooked by something early that afternoon and knocked down both the stable doors. It was very hard work to have them repaired before night fell. I merely wanted to take a bit of a rest before resuming my duties.”

“Well, that’s certainly understandable,” his master replied.

“It is?” Daniel asked, surprised. He had not expected that response in the least.

“Certainly. It wouldn’t do me any good to have those in my employ working themselves to death, now would it? Tell me something, do you visit the library often?”

“Not as often as I would like, sire,” he answered honestly.

“May I ask how you learned to read? I find that there are few people like yourself that seem to be so learned.”

“My parents taught me. They were teachers in our old village.”

“A very noble profession, indeed. Why are you not still with them?”

“They, um, they’ve passed on, sire.” His parents’ death was still a touchy subject for him and he tried to avoid talking about it as much as he could.

“How was it you came to be here, then?”

“I was only eight when they passed, so I was sent to live with my grandfather. Nicolas, who works in your kitchen.”

“I see. Thank you, Daniel. You may return to your duties.”

“Yes, sire. Thank you.”

He hurried out of the room, confused by what had happened in there. He was sure he would have been berated and sent off elsewhere. But it seemed that the master had told him it was all right for him to use the library. That had him very excited. There were many wonderful books he still wished to enjoy. He had always had an interest in learning, especially with languages. His parents had just begun to teach him Latin when the accident occurred. He had noticed several Latin books in the library and hoped he might have the opportunity to peruse them further.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Jonathan sat back in his chair after having dismissed Daniel. He hadn’t made it known, but it was he who had come across the young man in his library the prior evening. At first, he had been rather upset at this. How dare this servant dare to think he could just use his things like that? Most servants tended to be careless as they did not recognize the value of many of the books in the room. Then he noticed the young man was actually asleep in the chair. The nerve! First, he goes where he doesn’t belong and then has the gall to actually fall asleep on his precious possessions. Jonathan was this close to rudely waking him, when something made him stop. This young man was reading the Iliad. Not only that, he was taking notes on it! Perhaps he had jumped to conclusions. He needed to find out more about this stranger before deciding what an appropriate punishment might be.

This morning, he had sought out Edmond, one of his personal servants who knew all the goings-on within the castle grounds.

“Edmond,” he called. “The young man, taller, with shaggy blonde hair, what’s his name?”

“Daniel, sire. Is there something you require of him?”

“Yes, there is. Next time you see him, please send him to see me immediately. I’ll be in my study all day.”

“Yes, sire.”

When the young man appeared in his study, he was surprised at the frank responses. Most of the men and women that worked in the castle were timid and shy when they stood before him. He did have a bit of a reputation as one who easily lost his temper. While this Daniel did indeed treat him with the respect he deserved as lord of the manor, there was something in his eyes that told Jonathan this was not someone he wanted to cross – servant or no.

This could be the only explanation for why he had allowed the young man to get away with what had happened. He hadn’t even told him to stay out of the library. He’d practically given him permission to use it whenever he wished. He must really be going soft in his old age. It couldn’t have anything to do with the dazzling blue of the young man’s eyes. They way they shone with life and even a little mischief. The way he could imagine himself getting lost within them. No, of course not. It had nothing to do with that at all.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Daniel was making his way back to his quarters after his talk with Master Jonathan when Edmond caught up with him.

“Well?” Edmond asked. “What happened?”

“He wanted to know why I was in the library last night,” Daniel answered.

“And?”

“I answered him honestly. I didn’t realize anyone had known I was there. But he didn’t seem that upset by it. He didn’t even tell me to stay out!”

“Really? I don’t think he’s ever allowed anyone in there when he hasn’t been in there himself. Did he explain why?”

“Not really. I did tell him about my parents being teachers. Perhaps that swayed him a little. He seemed impressed that I knew how to read.”

“Well, I’d take that as a good sign. I would take full advantage of the privilege he seems to have granted you.”

“I intend to,” Daniel replied with a grin.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Unfortunately for Daniel, the next few weeks became very busy around the manor as it was time for the fall harvest. It was much too long before he was able to find some time to return to the library.

One night, almost two months later, he finally had his reprieve. The harvest had been completed the day before and all the grain stored for the coming winter. He had just enjoyed a hearty dinner and was looking forward to doing some reading before going to bed.

He opened the door to the library and made his way over to the shelf where he had found The Iliad last time. He turned to head towards the chair by the fireplace when he finally noticed Master Jonathan was already sitting in that chair.

“Oh, excuse me, sire,” he said. “I’ll return another time.”

“Nonsense,” Jonathan replied. “If you wish to read, you may do so. Pull that chair by the desk over here. There’s plenty of light for both of us to read by.”

Daniel smiled at the small joke and did as his master had suggested.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Certainly. I take it the harvest went well?”

“Oh, yes sire. The grain has been stored and we should be all set for the winter.”

“Glad to hear it.”

The two men resumed their reading in silence. It seemed strange to Daniel to be in such a situation. It seemed so informal and he had always been taught to treat those he served with the utmost respect and courtesy. Although, he supposed he was doing that as his master had bid him to come in and join him. It would have been rude to refuse.

Several times over the next few hours, he caught himself stealing glances at his master. He seemed even more handsome by the firelight. He blushed and quickly diverted his gaze as soon as those thoughts appeared. They were bad and wrong and he needed to get over them. He remembered what had happened when his grandfather had caught him behind the stables with another one of the older boys a few years after he arrived here. He had never seen Isaac again. He was getting to the age where he needed to start considering taking a wife. Mary, who worked in the kitchen with Nicolas, was always very kind to him. She was a very pretty woman, and intelligent. He would be honored to have her as a wife. But for some reason, she did not stir the same feelings in him that someone like Jonathan, his master, did.

A few hours later, Jonathan looked over to see that Daniel had fallen asleep in his chair. He paused in his reading, something striking him about the way the firelight was casting a warm glow over the young man. He felt something waking inside that he had not felt since the passing of his wife in childbirth. He had tried to go on, but when his son died a few short days later, his heart had turned cold and he became the tyrant most of his staff knew. Jonathan had always known he was different from other men. He had only taken a wife because it had been expected of him, but had grown to care very deeply for her. But now, old feelings were coming back to the surface and he wasn’t sure what to do with them. Not only was Daniel a man, but he was a servant, someone beneath him. Why were his thoughts even drifting in this direction? What he needed to do was wake Daniel up and send him on his way.

“Daniel,” Jonathan said gently shaking his shoulder. “Daniel.”

“Hmm?” Daniel said slowly coming awake. He slowly opened his eyes and a small smile broke out on his lips when he saw Jonathan standing over him.

Not sure of what came over him, he would later blame it on the firelight and the sparkle it put in Daniel’s eyes, Jonathan leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Daniel’s.

Daniel was sure he was still dreaming as there was no way his master would be kissing him in real life. Deciding to just go with it, he sighed into the kiss and opened his mouth slightly to allow the questing tongue inside. As soon as he felt a hand come up to hold the back of his neck, something tripped in Daniel’s mind and he was suddenly wide awake. He pulled away as gently as he could so as not to offend his master.

“Sire?” he asked.

Jonathan looked at him as if he just registered what he was doing.

“Daniel, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have…I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s all right, really. But, I should be getting back to my quarters. I have to be up early in the morning.”

“Yes, of course,” Jonathan said, standing up and moving away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, sire. Good night,” Daniel said as he left the room.

“Good night, Daniel,” Jonathan whispered.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Daniel tossed and turned most of the night, replaying the kiss over and over in his mind. He didn’t know what to make of it and wasn’t sure what it meant to Master Jonathan. He had no idea that man might entertain such thoughts. He had been married for several years. Daniel remembered the despair his master had fallen into at the death of his wife and son. He had never seen anyone more heartbroken. It seemed only recently that he might be coming out of the dark shadow that had surrounded him since that time. In fact, now that he thought about it, it was only in the last few weeks since he had been called to his master’s study for his reprimand. Could it be true? Could his master have feelings for him? No. That couldn’t be. It must be something else. Daniel was sure of it.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

In his room on the far side of the castle, Jonathan was suffering through a similar sleepless night. He honestly did not know what had come over him. It had been…a very long time since he had given into any of his feelings. The last time, he had been a very young man, still under his parent’s watch. He and a neighboring boy had been close friends practically their whole lives. One lazy, summer afternoon in his eighteenth year, they had escaped to the local creek for a swim. They had been lying on the bank, sunning themselves, talking of inconsequential things. And out of nowhere, Francis leaned over and kissed him square on the lips. Now, at this point, Jonathan had never entertained thoughts of men in such a manner. But, he had never really thought of women either. So, it didn’t surprise him too much when he returned the kiss with earnest. They spent the rest of the day kissing and exploring on that creek side. Every day after that they could get away, they would meet in the same spot beneath their tree, becoming increasingly bold in their explorations. But it had all come to an end a few weeks after their first encounter. Jonathan’s father had come to find the boy to inform him that his grandfather had passed away. Unfortunately, he had found the two young men in a very compromising position. That very evening, his father had sent Jonathan away to live with his uncle in the country. After his passing several years later, Jonathan became lord of that manor, which brought him to his present situation.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do the next time he encountered Daniel. Did he ignore him? Acknowledge him as he would any other servant? As something more? This was such a mess.

Jonathan was sure that he seemed to be developing feelings for his quiet servant. He supposed he would have to wait and see how Daniel reacted to him and go from there.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Over the next few months, the men saw little of each other outside of “official” business. But, that didn’t mean they weren’t watching. Daniel’s eyes seemed to find those of his master’s whenever they were nearby for a moment. The little smiles they exchanged in those moments warmed his heart more than the most passionate display of love could manage. He watched how Jonathan began to interact with the staff more, slowly coming out of his self-imposed prison. He visited the stables more often, taking the horses out on long runs just for the fun of it. Daniel even caught him in the kitchen on a few occasions talking with his grandfather and laughing. It was nice to finally see a smile gracing those lips more often than not.

As for Jonathan, his brief encounters with Daniel seemed to have awakened something inside him. He realized that he had been starving for human contact. He had shut himself away for so long, he had almost forgotten what it was like to interact with people on a regular basis. He slowly worked himself back into the daily life of the castle. He found the staff had missed him during his depression and was glad to see that they welcomed him back with open arms. While he could not get Daniel out of his head and longed to be able to court him as he might a woman, Jonathan knew that it would never be.

During this time, Daniel continued to frequent the library as often as he could. However, he found that Jonathan seemed to be staying away from that one room and found that he missed their time together. One night, several months later, Daniel was sitting at his customary place in front of the fire. He was finally finishing the Iliad and he turned at the sound of the heavy oak door opening and saw Master Jonathan standing weary in the door.

“Are you all right?” he asked getting to his feet.

“Daniel!” Jonathan said in surprise. Although he supposed he shouldn’t have been. He had avoided this room for far too long and finally felt the need to address the situation. “Um, yes, I’m fine. Thank you. Just had a very trying day.”

“Can I get you anything? Some wine, perhaps?”

“Actually, yes, that would be very nice.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Jonathan walked over to the chair Daniel had just abandoned. He picked up the book – The Iliad, of course. A small smile crept onto his face as he remembered that kiss a few nights ago. He had tried not to think about it too much since. He was still lost in thought when Daniel returned with a mug of spiced wine. He knew he would have to face what they had done. And as much as it pained him, he would have to let Daniel go.

“Thank you, Daniel,” he said.

“It’s no problem, sire,” Daniel replied.

“Listen, I feel I need to apologize to you. About what happened between us….”

“There’s no need, really. It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. I promise it won’t happen again.” Daniel looked at his master, not unsurprised by what he was saying. Relations between two men were something that was not spoken of. If it was, it was something that was evil and meant to be despised. But behind his eyes, Daniel could see the pain it was causing his master to have to dismiss him. It mattered not to Daniel that he happened to be attracted to another man. In all his years of reading, he often found reference to Roman soldiers taking comfort in each other. Why, it was often said that Alexander and Hephaestion had been companions. “What if…what if I don’t want you to promise that?” he asked shyly.

Jonathan looked up in surprise. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What exactly do you mean?” he asked for clarification. He wanted to make sure he knew exactly what was being said.

“I mean…I mean I like you,” he said just putting it out there. “More than I should given our current situation.”

Jonathan was completely taken aback by Daniel’s confession. It seemed almost inconceivable that someone like Daniel could possibly have any kind of feelings for someone like him. But if Daniel was going to be so honest with him, he could do little but return the favor.

“I must confess,” he said. “I feel the same.”

Now, it was Daniel’s turn to look shocked.

“But how?” he asked. “I mean, I’m just a servant, sire. We had never spoken until a few months ago.”

“Well, who ever said love made sense?”

“Love?” Daniel asked. His master loved him?

“Not that I love you,” he clarified. “At least at this particular moment. But I think I could come to care for you deeply?”

Daniel could barely contain his grin at his master’s unease. It made him look so young and, dare he say it, adorable.

“I know exactly what you mean, sire,” he said.

“Good. Good, I’m glad to hear that. But, I think you should call me Jack. At least when we’re by ourselves.”

"All right. Jack.”

The two men smiled at each other, looking forward to starting their new life together.

THE END

 

 

Contact Kerri:  feedback@pepeplace.co.uk